Fix me!
This person.
He sat in front of me, looking straight into my eyes. He was trying to 'fix' me. Though we both were trying to make me emotionally stable, but in the process, we both had ended up being very close friends. He knew exactly why I acted in a certain manner, and wouldn't even be mad at me for misbehaving.
"You are not this body, this mind or your thoughts." he said. I didn't meet his eyes. I just stared at the floor. I didn't want to hear his words. Truth does set one free, but before that it makes one uneasy.
"You are God. You are one with him. Please, realise that." He said, still looking directly into my eyes hoping to see them.
"If everything is so right, straight and in place, why am I unhappy? Why am I not able to stay happy!?" i interrogated
"Who said the goal is to stay happy?" He questioned back.
I looked up into his eyes, as he got the glace he was seeking. "What do you mean?" I asked.
He got up and knelt down before my feet, asking for my hands.
I took to staring the floor again and let my hair slide down from behind my shoulder to cover my face.
I could see him smile from my peripheral vision. He shifted my hair softly behind my ear. I gave him my hands as he started to explain.
"Good and bad are very subjective. Some people find comfort and feel good when sad. My angel doesn't. She says she wants to be happy." And, he paused to kiss my hand and grip it harder
"But, if you look at the norm, extreme of anything isn't good and being sad or happy is the extremes of emotion. So, how can being happy be good while being gloomy isn't good to you? Both are different in terms of experience but same in nature - extreme."
I could feel my goosebumps take over. "What is the goal then!? Not to feel at all !?" I inquired, harshly, while feeling uneasy due to the truth.
He shook his head as he knew I was running away from the answer.
He stood up, and told me to do so too. And, when I did, he calmly and slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. I embraced him too. "Why are you changing positions while talking?" I asked.
He tightened the hug.
"The goal is to be stable." he said "It is to embrace all situations, gleeful or not, neutrally. there is a tiny place between sadness and elation called-"
I cut him with "Hug me tighter." He did as instructed, I would always tell him to do that, no matter how hard his hold would already have been.I always wanted more.
"Called, stability." he continued "That's where one should be, where, my angel should be. There you are not glad, nor gloomy. You are at peace. You are blissful. You are enlightened. And, that's the goal, that's the true human nature- to not be swayed by emotions, to be enlightened." he completed.
He had 'overlooked' my second question, I thought. Nothing new, it was. He would do that often, and when I would ask him why he had ignored my words, he would say, he never does that, he just simply 'overlooks' them.
Or, maybe not.
As, he said, "And, about your second question-"
"Well, the goal is to hug you as tight as I am right now. I make it gradual so that you are comfortable with it, and for that I've to change positions, as you call it. You make me do so much of work, and then question me why I do it." he shook his head, saying the last statement. He had indirectly explained the whole procedure of 'fixing' me- gradual, comfortable, making him work.
And, I couldn't help but blush as I buried my face in his chest, drawing myself closer to him.
Tell me, how could I not fall for this man!
He sat in front of me, looking straight into my eyes. He was trying to 'fix' me. Though we both were trying to make me emotionally stable, but in the process, we both had ended up being very close friends. He knew exactly why I acted in a certain manner, and wouldn't even be mad at me for misbehaving.
"You are not this body, this mind or your thoughts." he said. I didn't meet his eyes. I just stared at the floor. I didn't want to hear his words. Truth does set one free, but before that it makes one uneasy.
"You are God. You are one with him. Please, realise that." He said, still looking directly into my eyes hoping to see them.
"If everything is so right, straight and in place, why am I unhappy? Why am I not able to stay happy!?" i interrogated
"Who said the goal is to stay happy?" He questioned back.
I looked up into his eyes, as he got the glace he was seeking. "What do you mean?" I asked.
He got up and knelt down before my feet, asking for my hands.
I took to staring the floor again and let my hair slide down from behind my shoulder to cover my face.
I could see him smile from my peripheral vision. He shifted my hair softly behind my ear. I gave him my hands as he started to explain.
"Good and bad are very subjective. Some people find comfort and feel good when sad. My angel doesn't. She says she wants to be happy." And, he paused to kiss my hand and grip it harder
"But, if you look at the norm, extreme of anything isn't good and being sad or happy is the extremes of emotion. So, how can being happy be good while being gloomy isn't good to you? Both are different in terms of experience but same in nature - extreme."
I could feel my goosebumps take over. "What is the goal then!? Not to feel at all !?" I inquired, harshly, while feeling uneasy due to the truth.
He shook his head as he knew I was running away from the answer.
He stood up, and told me to do so too. And, when I did, he calmly and slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. I embraced him too. "Why are you changing positions while talking?" I asked.
He tightened the hug.
"The goal is to be stable." he said "It is to embrace all situations, gleeful or not, neutrally. there is a tiny place between sadness and elation called-"
I cut him with "Hug me tighter." He did as instructed, I would always tell him to do that, no matter how hard his hold would already have been.I always wanted more.
"Called, stability." he continued "That's where one should be, where, my angel should be. There you are not glad, nor gloomy. You are at peace. You are blissful. You are enlightened. And, that's the goal, that's the true human nature- to not be swayed by emotions, to be enlightened." he completed.
He had 'overlooked' my second question, I thought. Nothing new, it was. He would do that often, and when I would ask him why he had ignored my words, he would say, he never does that, he just simply 'overlooks' them.
Or, maybe not.
As, he said, "And, about your second question-"
"Well, the goal is to hug you as tight as I am right now. I make it gradual so that you are comfortable with it, and for that I've to change positions, as you call it. You make me do so much of work, and then question me why I do it." he shook his head, saying the last statement. He had indirectly explained the whole procedure of 'fixing' me- gradual, comfortable, making him work.
And, I couldn't help but blush as I buried my face in his chest, drawing myself closer to him.
Tell me, how could I not fall for this man!
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