Flames prevent running back, tonight. (PART 1)

(You see, I couldn't stay away for long from you all.... I hope I am able to sneak peek more now..)

I am sitting here alone in darkness, knowing that it has no finite.

A spotlight is shining on me, which fades away after a distance. I'm wearing my soul alone tonight. It had once been white and spotless but now it contains dark speckles.

Each dot reminds me of my sins. I know I've done it and it's not revertible. I'm confiding in myself, with my head between my knees. I'm away from the world; the human race, and its conduct and obligation. I'm just me, tonight!

I hear some rumbles now. They are in a distance, but as they become louder, I know they are coming out for me. And, I know what they are. I'm scared but tonight, I can't run away from them, I know.

They are here now, in front of me.

Now, they are revolving around me, as if dancing about a bonfire; about my heart engulfed in flames, and they'll burn the whole of me now. They are a bunch of fireballs, all having different shades of colours.

It'll happen, I know, I can't help it. I stand up and they start burning more intensely!

There is no running back, tonight.

I again sit down on the floor, my soul still covering my body, and only then do the flames turn a little less intense. The green flame chooses to stop now, and to vigorously burn in front of my eyes.

My eyes reflect its image and in it I can see what no one else can. Green says, I've been envious, and have expected others not to be so. It reminds me the false I've done due to my jealousy, and how it degrades me, while I've already lost all my prestige.

It won't stop till I look away. My face shows how torturous it all is for me, it tells how much I come to disrespect myself, now. The flame laughs and flies away, but their mocking won't stop here.

Next comes the red flame, indicating love.

It reminds me about my first love, followed by how I was cheated. It lime lights the fact that no matter how much I try to ignore it, I know I was undignified enough to let that happen to me. The hardest years of my life are brought in front of me. It won't leave until I accept the fact.

My tears show the flame that I've felt the pain. It snickers at me too and goes away, appeased.

 I know there is more to come.

The next flame which gets a chance to hurt me is blue.

It's a flame but it's cold.

In it I'm able to see all the times I've been cold; all the moments I've shivered due to a nervous break-down. It displays in front of me my cowardice and it teases me, showing me my weakest self. It won't leave till I'm brave enough to watch it.

With dull blink-less eyes, I'm looking into it, seeing myself so afraid and cold.

Its work is done.

Every flame is burning a bit of my life, each time it's mocking me. It's hurting, but it's not over.
The next light to showcase itself is a white light. I blink at it for a moment, realising it's presence. I can't believe it! Amoungst all the dim lights, I find the white light of purity and peace. I am glad like a child is, while looking at his mother, amoung strangers.
I get up, stumble to reach it, for achieving warmth and strength.
I want this flame to stay. I'm about to touch it, it won't harm me. My hand will reach it in a second and I'll finally achieve bliss!
But---
<To Be Continued....>