In Zayn's Head and Thoughts

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(I am not a directioner, but due to all the chaos created for Zayn, I'm standing up for him at a very small scale, to spread a thought about what HE might be feeling!)

"I'm a murderer, a sinner, a disappointment and I'm so sorrowful!
Directioners hate me! They hate me because I left.
But, I didnt change over night. I decided to give it up because I was exhausted! I was brimming with unease and wanted to empty it out!
People are cutting, committing suicide, and crying because I chose to be happy?
They had always supported me, but when I needed their support the most, they were not there! I have to live with the guilt of being responsible for so many tears, scars and deaths! This guilt is pinning me down!
How can I ever be happy this way?
Forever, I've tried to do my level best for my fans, and they are protesting against my happiness.
I am responsible for deaths!" he thinks and shivers.
Then, he runs to the wash basin, splashes water on his face, and looks into the mirror.

That amazing and good looking guy in there appeared to look Zayn straight into his eyes.
"I'm a monster. People cut and die due to me!" he whispers but still doesn't understand what wrong he had done chasing his contentment.
And, even though millions of girls dreamed of him, he thought of himself as ugly now.
He felt ugly.

(Please understand him. Don't create trauma for him!)

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